Some examples of when relationship therapy can be useful:
You’re stuck in an pursuer-distancer cycle (the more one of you withdraws, the more the other tries to close the distance, which intensifies the first partner’s withdrawal)
Your arguments escalate; perhaps one of you becomes angry and one of you shuts down, so things don’t get resolved
One or both of you are struggling with trauma and are unsure how to support each other
You’re struggling with value differences, for example, you place a different priority on family of origin, career advancement or political engagement
You’re experiencing a loss of emotional connection or attraction that you had in the beginning of your relationship
You are or suspect you are a mixed neurotype couple (e.g. one of you is autistic/ADHD and the other is neurotypical or has a different neurodivergence)
You’re struggling to recover from a betrayal or other rupture
One of you is exploring your gender identity or sexuality and you want support navigating this together
Conflicts often follow a familiar, repetitive pattern even though the content may change. The idea within IFS is that conflicts are often driven by the attempts of protective parts of us to get the needs met of our most vulnerable parts, but that unfortunately this often brings out protective parts of the other person.
For example, behind a part who criticises a partner might be a lonely part who just wants to feel noticed. While the critical part is trying to make the relationship closer, its criticism might trigger a part of the other partner that feels shame. A protective part of them might step in and withdraw, to try to avoid the shame, aggravating the critical part even more.
Together we can explore how each of you can pause during conflict and speak for the needs and concerns of reactive and hurt parts rather than speaking from them, so that you can turn towards each other with greater curiosity about each others’ experiences.
I start with a full 50 minute session (charged at £40). At the end of our first session I’ll let you both take some time to reflect together on whether to move forward.
You can contact me via the form below or by emailing me at kwintertherapy@outlook.
I offer online sessions and work with clients internationally.
I generally use the Psychology Today platform for holding online sessions, which is GDPR and HIPAA compliant, although if you and the person you’re attending therapy with are not in the same location we’ll use a different platform.
I charge £70 for a 50 minute session and offer a reduced fee of £40 for the first session. I also offer 90 minute sessions for £110.
I ask for 72 hours notice if you want to cancel a session completely rather than reschedule.
Regardless of the notice you give me I’ll do my best to offer you alternative slots so you still get the session you paid for, or we can extend our next session to 90 minutes with the fee for the ‘missed’ session covering the extra time.
I try to be flexible when it comes to changing session times, and I’m happy to work with clients with unpredictable or varied schedules.
I generally see clients weekly for 50 minute sessions, although if you prefer we may be able to meet:
Feel free to ask me if one of these options or something similar would suit you.