Resources
Below are some of the resources I’ve found helpful in my own life and in my work with clients.
There’s a whole mix of things here, from theories about why therapy works to concrete life-improvement advice.
- All
- ADHD
- Anger
- Anxiety
- Attachment
- Autism
- Books
- Books (written for therapists)
- Chronic pain
- Connecting activities
- Free online support
- How therapy works
- Low cost therapy
- Meditation
- OCD
- Parts work
- Pets
- Podcasts
- Polyamory
- Relationships
- Self compassion
- Sensory activities
- Sexuality
- Somatic practices
Podcast on Internal Family Systems: The One Inside
Episodes on different themes (e.g. adoption, grief, sexuality, chronic pain) through an IFS lens.
Personality test: The Enneagram
An introduction to the Enneagram. Can be helpful for pointing the way towards IFS parts, if you read it through this lens.
Simple ways of self-regulating when you're stressed
A series of nervous system regulating activities from Polyvagal therapy. If it feels okay for you to pay attention to your body, I think there’s potentially a high return to exploring simple ways you can use your breath or touch to calm your nervous system.
Guided meditation focused on addressing attachment trauma
Free online meditation with a lecture beforehand focused on an attachment theme. Fridays 1PM in UK.
Practice attuning to your embodied intuitions
A donation-based Focusing gathering, meeting for 90 minutes twice monthly on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. Schedule via the link.
Internal Family Systems online practice group
Free online IFS practice group, 90 minutes once a month.
Donation based weekly Non-Violent Communication practice
NVC is a way of expressing ourselves in terms of observations, feelings, needs and requests. Can be a valuable tool both during conflict with others and also for translating our inner criticism into something more compassionate.
Articles on shame, attachment and attunement in relationships
Articles focused on attachment in relationships. Topics include unintentional gaslighting, nurturance, apologies and narcissism.
Feeding your demons – embracing 'scary' or 'difficult' parts of ourselves
A Buddhist practice which involves transforming your relationship with a scary or hated part of you by ‘feeding’ it with compassion.
Monthly NVC practice group
2nd Sunday of each month at 7pm ET/12am GMT.
Free mindfulness sessions
Twice a day online, from the Oxford Mindfulness Foundation
Loving-kindness meditation
Online Thursdays 9:15am GMT.
Wheel of consent - A framework for noticing your desires and boundaries during intimacy
The wheel of consent can be helpful for thinking about different intentions that can be behind touch, whether you’re respecting your own boundaries and desires during touch, and how to communicate them.
Personality schema: The MTG Color Wheel (& Humanity)
A schema for thinking about the different mindsets with which people approach the world based on the game Magic: The Gathering.
How to smell
I think being highly present with sensory experience can be healing, and also a fun and connecting thing to try with others.
How to taste chocolate
A guide to having a rich, more nuanced experience.
What maximum productvity looks like for me
From writer Sasha Chapin (who has ADHD). Most people don’t have the freedom to create the lifestyle he describes, but I think these principles might be valuable to think about all the same, particularly for people who resonate with having an ‘interest-based nervous system’.
Relax all your muscles
Talks you through intentionally relaxing your body.
How to tidy
How to tidy in a way that works for you rather than to fit other people’s ideas.
A meditation technique for healing insecure attachment
A list of resources on the Ideal Parent Figure Protocol, a meditation technique for healing insecure attachment.
Unlocking the emotional brain – book review
Explores the theory that memory reconsolidation is at the root of why therapy is effective.
Applied Rationality handbook
A handbook of techniques for clearer thinking and more effective decision-making.
The four attachment styles
A primer on attachment styles, for understanding how your nervous system works in intimate relationships.
Learn to listen to what your body knows about a situation
An introduction to Focusing, a way of accessing your embodied or intuitive experience of the whole of a situation.
Podcast: Live IFS
If you want to learn more about how IFS works and sounds in practice, here are 100s of sessions recorded by an IFS practitioner.
Videos about Internal Family Systems
A video series from the IFS therapist Derek Scott, recording his thoughts on practicing IFS.
Can You Have a Committed Partnership With a Friend?
Interview with the author of The Other Significant Others, looking at the lives of people who have formed platonic life partnerships.
An Internal Family Systems (IFS) view of OCD
An episode from the podcast OCD Stories on OCD through an IFS lens.
Low-cost relationship therapy
If you’re looking for low-cost couples therapy, trainees at this agency offer sessions beginning from £20/session.
Polysecure & other books
Jessica Fern is a psychotherapist whose writing looks at polyamory through an attachment-focused lens.
Introduction to Internal Family Systems
A short manual outlining the basic assumptions and steps of Internal Family Systems. A good place to start if you’re new to the model and want to try it for yourself.
A story about the things we do to survive childhood trauma and unpicking those coping mechanisms later
A story read by IFS therapist Derek Scott on surviving childhood trauma by hiding our pain from ourselves until we’re able to bear it.
Internal Family Systems demo session
An example of how IFS can unburden a young part who’s in pain.
Internal Family Systems demo session
A part with burdens around sexual arousal being helped using IFS.
Mapping out the different parts of us that get triggered in a situation
A brief guide to mapping out the different parts of you that come up in response to a particular topic or context.
Article on losing a pet
“A life without my dogs seems imponderable. Yet we do keep going after losing the animals we adore”
Tests for autism and ADHD
Empirically validated tests that can give an indication of whether you’re autistic or have ADHD.
Neurodivergent insights site
Infographics and mental health resources on neurodivergence.
Autistic Pride Day
Sex educator Emily Nagoski talking about her experience of being autistic.
Daily Parts Meditation Practice
Daily Parts Meditation Practice: A Journey of Embodied Integration for Clients and Therapists
Self-Therapy
Intro to chronic pain
A brief intro the difference between chronic and acute pain.
Self Therapy workbook
The workbook that accompanies Jay Earley’s book Self Therapy. Available online.
The Integral Guide to Well-being
An online guide to IFS (and lots of other mental wellbeing related topics).
IFS based resources
A list of IFS based resources collected by therapist Anna Vincentz
Untangling
Untangling/Inner Relationship Focusing is a somatic approach to parts work that can be very compatible with IFS. Like IFS, self-compassion and the idea of inner multiplicity are central.
Polyvagal Prompts
Exercises and practices for exploring your nervous system.
108 Questions for Your Body
Prompts to increase your awareness of your body and embodied emotional experience.
The Power of Focusing
An introductory guide to Focusing, an approach to listening to your embodied awareness.
Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair
A therapeutic model and set of methods for treating adult patients with dismissing, anxious-preoccupied, or disorganized attachment.
Introduction to Mindful Self-Compassion Workshop (free)
Pre-recorded 2.5 hour Foundations of Mindful Self-Compassion Workshop
